Not everybody loves their men lean and sculpted. We are trying to be even-handed here at the Kinkiest Komik Karacter Kontest and have something for everybody. Plenty of fellas (and some gals) like a brawny guy with some meat on his bones. Fortunately the comics have plenty of lovable Gentle Ben types hiding in plain sight. Today we try to find that guy that has that ruggedly handsome outdoorsy look.
There are enough lovable tubby hairy guys here to fill up an evening of Logo/CBS cross-over sitcoms. Just pick the one that would make the Pride Parade proud.
 | Professor Ian Cameron Mary Worth According to his official King features bio: Beneath his bluster and pomposity this Scottish-born victim of "The Hemingway Complex" is a gentle teddy bear. Ian is the neighborhood "Greeter" and, by his own modest admission, the resident expert on everything.And with that kind of admission, what could he be hiding? His official duties at Charterstone include laying around the pool shirtless and disappearing randomly to go to conferences in other cities. |
 | Professor Aristotle Papagoras Apartment 3G The other soap comics professor has been mysteriously absent from the strip lately. He has been aging backwards, got a stylin' new goatee and got a really cool mustard suit at a thrift store down in the Village. Clearly he has discovered that hanging around those three bimbos wasn't getting him any action. Even his romance with Gina the actress was just a ruse to have have an excuse to hang around her off-off-off-Broadway theater which just happened to be next to the revival of Naked Boys Singing. |
 | Professor Cosmo Fishhawk Shoe Our final professor seems like an unlikely stud, but this chicken hawk has taken to popped collar polo shirts instead of his traditional patched elbow tweed to appeal to the twinks that hang around Roz's coffee shop/gay bar/sex toy store. |
 | Sargeant Snorkel Beetle Bailey Sarge just missed the cut in the Ambiguously Gay Duo category with his frequent BDSM bottom buddy Beetle, but he makes another run at the prize in this solo entry. In the don't ask-don't tell world of Camp Swampy, he is a tortured soul whose sham romance with equally closeted Sgt. Louise Lugg can't make up for the lie of a life he leads. |
 | Alley Oop Alley Oop A reader nomination, time traveling cave-man Alley Oop is perhaps just a little too buff to be a true bear, but his hirsute visage more than makes up for that shortcoming. He does rock the loin cloth and when he goes clubbing, he really goes clubbing. |
 | The Bear Pluggers And it wouldn't be right to not feature an actual bear, or at least a bear-human hybrid. And while Bear Guy is married to the odd looking kangaroo/coyote lady, there is nothing more manly than a little Brokeback Mountain bareback bear hugging going on in Pluggertown. |